RIP John Hughes.
November 29, 2009, 1:28 am
Filed under: jams, nomadisms

A little feverish. Sinus infection, a biannual affair, experimental salt water treatment process ongoing.

Out last night, random drinks, cruise over the bridge to find nothing on and $17 cover for bands I’ve never heard of who seem vaguely rockabilly which there’s not a lot of love for even if this floor is packed.

I don’t really have a scene in mind anymore that I want to be part of.

When I was fifteen I wanted my life to look something like Dazed and Confused crossed with the Smashing Pumpkin’s 1979 video with John Hughes moments interspersed. Achieved. When I left home, I wanted to have a college experience, all night parties and meeting new people. Achieved. Around the time I moved I also wanted to go to shows and see interesting bands at good venues. Done. Everything that happens comes around as part of an idea, and of course there are always unexpected parts of that idea leading to new ideas, but opportunity often makes itself available to a well prepared mind.

There’s no vision of what this time is supposed to be like, available, yet. On one side, there’s the sign up drop out model, involving babies, mortgages, and brunch. On the other side, there’s a dystopic late twenties model purveyed by sitcoms and the New York Times, generally involving witty pub banter and a designed-to-destruct quest for love and/or success. There’s probably also a version where casual college substance abuse turns into a full blown problem, potentially with some regrettable other behavior, but let’s take that off the table. A lot of these are well canvassed by St. Elmo’s Fire, one of my favorite largely Brat Pack movies in existence. It’s kind of the Breakfast Club for those who graduated and covers the above trajectories, plus.

The thought occurs as these words take shape that the objective here is something about broader horizons. Everything in the past was about broadening but now the point comes where the broadness requires something more. To live in a situation so challenging it forces change. The problem with the current situation is it is devoid of this change forcing challenge, novelty, breadth.

Productivity and growth, it seems, are not so related after all.

CLEAR! – Elephant Man Remix – Kardinal Offishall
So incongruent.


and the days go by
November 25, 2009, 1:49 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I hate how much I have to sleep to be able to do my job.

Because my work is brain intensive and my capacities are not, apparently, unlimited, if I cut out even two hours of sleep my ability to work drops frustratingly. Things aren’t as accurate, everything’s not as easy. I need just over eight hours to feel good. More often than not I find myself in my office straight from nine to five. I have no idea what happens to the other eight hours every day. Let’s say forty five minutes getting ready to leave the house and thirty minutes total walking commute. That leaves six hours and forty five minutes unaccounted for.

Seriously, where does it go? My television is limited to three channels streamed online. I don’t currently get any exercise. And lately haven’t been cooking as much as foraging.

Today I wanted to bail and travel more than anything. Getting away for a weekend wasn’t a pancea, it was a gateway drug reminder binge to start setting up the next phase somewhere else as soon as possible.

You’re Living Against the Machine
November 24, 2009, 5:14 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Being this age is a weird threshold that has been overthought.

I celebrated by: being eight minutes late to work so I could get a pain au chocolat for breakfast, not working very hard, googling for writing about being this age, going out for drinks with friends who did not realize it was my birthday and not telling them.

My original plan was pizza in bed with an eggnog creme chocolate and this Quebecois book called Gin & Tonic and Cucumber which has the most terrible chick lit looking cover I am embarrassed to read in public but is actually a perfect birthday book and has this lovely French Canadian quality not lost in translation.

The weekend trip was good. I think. Enlightening. Maybe. Salt spray on the face makes me feel better and I caught a Christmas parade, maybe a little Christmas spirit too; it’s been awhile. I know this year I have to make a move, perhaps a non logical non linear move, the first in several years. All of this is direction, all of this is preparation.

I need some sleep.

There are really no updates to be had
November 20, 2009, 2:24 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I have a growing interest in this. I mean, if the G.C. thinks I should be mobile and gain “valuable experience” until I’m 30 or 35, who can argue?

Packing, sort of. Kind of.

November 17, 2009, 12:45 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Are we more aware of dying when we’re not fully living? Or is each clearer if experienced contemporaneously, in wholly formed contrast?

November 16, 2009, 4:58 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Something about the new itunes/quicktime software has caused major problems with mp4 files and it’s driving me crazy at the end of this wasted weekend. I like a lot of things about the aesthetics of the netbook but converting back to a PC from a Mac is ridiculous.

Here is the computer Apple should make me right now.
(1) Aesthetics of an eepc. Read: smaller and lighter.
(2) Detachable battery charging option. This would solve a number of common hardware problems and decrease the likelihood of theft. I could have just externally boosted my battery in the interim instead of getting a new computer.
(3) Come up with a better method of ipod file management – not allowing me to transfer freely between the two is a serious problem
(4) Make a software package without bells and whistles for the average computer user – then treat the extended files (see: garage band) as “apps.” Start with a blank(er) slate.
(4)(b) Consider customizing software suggestions by a computer-use survey. Hello demographic marketing.
(5) Priority hardware compatibility with Skype and emerging telecommunications software. Ideally integrate so I can skype text from an ipod touch, work on developing a method to recieve texts via skype. Hello market dominance.
(6) Develop a more logical backup archival system with financial software compatibility and automation options – the back up system should work in neutral file coding tech if possible.

FYI, you can fix the video incompatibility issue by going back to an older version of itunes and quicktime. This is an uninstall pain and will require recreating libraries (drop and drag) but appears necessary until the bug gets worked out. Seriously, minus two points Apple on this one.

more stuff about food.
November 13, 2009, 4:01 am
Filed under: gastronomy

I call and it’s static. We can’t talk via internet magic because they turned the power off in the city of 4 million people for a couple days.

Today was blurry. Winter made itself known again, glaring days and cutting wind. Work seemed like a cyclical joke, stopped and rewound, eight hours in a row.

Notes. Last night, saskatoon berry apple crumble, skins on, topping purely oatmeal/butter/honey based. Deeply satisfying. Fruit related deserts have completely overtaken chocolate based offerings in a personal craving ranking. The same bar of dark chocolate has been sitting unmolested in the cupboard for weeks, it used to be eaten for breakfast.

Tonight penne + peas/green peppers cooked in olive oil and slightly crispy garlic/onions, extensive parm just a little melted by throwing it on top of the veg as the burner cools off, and some balsamic pesto to get the noodles going.

Pestos. Tend to feel like they should be better than they are. For awhile everything was pesto, inexplicably, everywhere. Herbs and pine nuts and oil, this sounds like something wonderful! Yet, repeatedly, it just begs for garlic or something else, anything. Sundried tomato does nothing redeeming. Someday, will go to Italy and get converted, like that time some real mozarella showed up, watery globs melting in a way cheese never melted before.

The balsamic pesto is the first peace making because it has pecorino cheese. So really it’s just sort of classy cheese sauce and I remain unenamoured with pestos.

It’s saying a lot.