Underthecurrent


monkeys.
April 16, 2010, 4:55 am
Filed under: when I grow up

There is a package at the post, I think it’s the mid-February one from L.G., stuffed with things I miss and other treats. To be investigated at 8 am tomorrow! Today he sent me an email about how monkeys had entered his building and were running around, as he was writing the letter one was watching him, licking its blue testicles and looking for a chase.

L.G. describes it as an epic staredown. He shuffled his cheese and tomato sandwich away from the monkey and kept writing me.

Last month I hit the target I was told to hit. This month I’m lagging for no real reason at the halfway point. I feel like meeting expectations absolves me for anything else. I know it’s only four more benchmarks, including this one, but this month won’t be easy.

I actually can’t imagine what work outside of this realm is going to be like. I wonder if the problems I’m having are (a) because I don’t actually like a lot of the work, (b) because I have ingrained productivity problems that will persist no matter what I end up doing, (c) a reflection that I’m not well suited to traditional hours and office environments, (d) all of the above, (e) none of the above.

No one ever promised you would like your job.
It’s not about easier.

But I seriously, right now, have trouble visualizing what this version of myself is like in in another line of work. It’s been years, and four jobs, since I’ve worked out of this industry. An entire period of Personal Growth and Development has taken place since I left a part time gig in “public relations” at a wee 22 years old. Considering how disconcerting it was to start working in this field, will it be as strange to go back outside of it?

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