Twitter Does Not Matter (To Me)
June 20, 2011, 8:19 am
Filed under: popconsumption | Tags: ,

I was one of the first twenty people within my college network on facebook. I remember when blogging meant Diaryland or html coding and when Blogger was born. I was there at the Apple revival, when people would come up to my laptop in coffee shops and marvel at how weird it looked. Early adopter, probably not. The list of zeitgeisty stuff I missed or never got behind is just as long. There are other things I thought were interesting that never made it. But I’m nobody’s tech phobic grandmama, for the record.

But Twitter is something I can’t really get behind. I can understand why it appeals to certain demographics and what use it has in society, it’s just not something I need to participate in. Ever.

1) I Don’t Need to Know Right When A Story Breaks. The most recent twitter victory was being first to the Osama story. The thing is, stuff like the Osama story does not profoundly affect me in such a way that finding out about it three hours or even three days later is a major problem. If something does affect me directly, say some weather disaster, I will probably be busy dealing with it in real time. There have been claims about how the revolution will be tweeted but there is little analysis substantiating this.

2) I Don’t Need More To Read. People laud twitter for passing around viral articles and inspiring postings. Fair enough, but I am currently sitting in bed with the Sunday paper, even though it’s Monday. It easily tops 60 pages. My bookshelf and inbox are perpetually full. The stuff I have seen that has been made ‘famous’ via twitter has never changed my life the way other writing has. It well might someday but,

3) I am Lazy. I am too lazy to follow what’s going on and prefer that others do the dirty work of making topics trend and things famous and sifting through RTs, self adulation, mutual congratulations and new hashtags. Then, important things can find their way into a condensed mainstream source for my lazy self to review. I like journalism that gathers and analyzes for me, this is why I do not attend – say – city council meetings although I am happy to read about them in a few hundred words later.

4) I Do Not Care What Ordinary People or even Celebrities Are Doing During Mundane Moments. Or even, really, interesting moments. I, like many, enjoyed that brief period when the internet opened up to the common man and stay at home moms took to status updates in a frenzy. Then I, like many, realized that people overall are interesting en masse but boring in specific incidence and that I only really care what one person in the world has for breakfast and I can just ask him when he brings me tea in bed. Internet voyeurism is just like any other hobby.

There is a place for something that brings me exactly what I want without effort but the most difficult part is that exactly what I want is so fickle. Some days I feel like investigating the finer points of cooking various kinds of rice, other days I want hard news, the next day I want the (dilettanti) content of pop culture fashion and music blogs. This may be what makes twitter ultimately so useless for me: my everyday interests are too diffuse for the purposes of following.

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