Underthecurrent


Where Are Ü Now
January 14, 2016, 3:44 am
Filed under: insight

Add to the list of titles that will feel dated and strange in five years.

Sometimes it’s down the search engine hole on a night where there should be work/chores/fitness/good behavior.

What about that one?  The one that got completely deleted, the point in life where it became okay to not maintain the vestiges of half friendship, when it was clear this time there was nothing more to say?  Did they make it where they were planning to be?

Nope!  It turns out they’re living the same city as you, the whole time.  One more thing to ruminate over when considering how under-dressed is too under-dressed to get groceries.

*

He’s sitting the hallway like it’s ten years ago.  Of all the hallways, in all the cities.

There’s still nothing awkward.  Why has there never been anything awkward?  There probably should be, in that montage of young and dumb, it was more sitcom than drama.  He says your name slowly like it’s still a decade ago and you blush a little bit.

Part wants to say:  you’re a good memory, one of the best.

You won’t know until later which ones can leave the perfect moments unspoiled.  It won’t be many because people are human and vulnerable and, sometimes, mean.  That bitterness at the end will splash over those long rosy days and the memories will always be different.  Sometimes this just comes from trying to make something good last too long, to make it meet the wrong needs.

But every once in awhile there will be one that was just goodness.  Nothing that would have gone the distance, but uncomplicated happiness.  Human connection.

Part wants to say: I hope you feel the same.

*

The airport is really small and what’s appropriate is the casual “oh, hey!” that both is and is not spontaneous.  The warm smile is prepped, eyes wash across and… they don’t meet.  They have averted their eyes.  Panic.  No one looks at each other.  Friends with one on facebook.

Remembering why moving to a new city at the end of being a teenager was a good plan.  A very good, eye-contact-inducing plan.

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